End of year memorial: Prelude

This year the memorial is not totally coherent mainly because I was more diligent in some months compared to others, November for example being completely empty because I was exhibiting and painting at that time. In the early months of the year I am writing a lot in a sort of stream-of-consciousness, this style chosen in order to achieve narrative effects suited to my mood, which was positive due to my having overcome the depression brought about by the end of the year (2022). As you can read if you read in January I suffered in December and had a pain in my heart when I went to bed. This effect might account for how, now at the end of 2023, I am sometimes staying up all night unwilling to inflict upon myself the tedious chore of bedtime.

Two other big events in 2023 were the birth of my grandson Henri and the photo album that I made so that I could send memories of the family to Japan in some durable form. I got some extra furniture down from the back bedroom on the first floor: a desk which I put next to the dining table. Later, I’d use the desk for painting, or at least use it to hold necessary items such as scissors and glue. The desk is now a permanent fixture of my dining room.

Reading back over the early months of the memorial now – at the end of a very busy year – I am mindful of how it is possible to make constructive plans if you think for enough ahead. If you read the entry for January you’ll note that at some point I decide to treat every day like Christmas Day, and while I’m not entirely sure that I always succeeded, I find that the end of 2023 is shaping up to be more manageable than the end of 2022. I attribute this switch to the resolution I made in January.

Naturally there will be surprises in 2024, I envisage some happy ones and anticipate some more onerous ones. I have I think found a balance between making art and promoting art, because as an artist you are like a small-business person, always thinking of where to find time to do what’s necessary to survive. December will finish in a couple of weeks, but I’m ready for the challenges ahead in a life without boundaries. I think this was my old university’s sales slogan, can you beat that? No limits. Limitless. Some day I’ll hit the wall, crash and burn. With any luck I’ll be buried next to my mother and my grandmother, in a wall in the columbarium at Watsons Bay where I grew up. I wonder now.