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Saturday, 9 July 2016

Feeling rather strange since mum has gone

This morning I woke up and made some coffee, then drank a cup and went back to bed hoping to resume the dreams that always punctuate my sleep, but no luck, the dreams had fled. The coffee maybe had chased them away. I tossed and turned for a couple of hours until I got fed up with it and emerged. In front of the computer I went through my Facebook feed for the past 12 hours or so and made some comments.

The laundry had to be done and I always love doing the laundry. I had washed the clothes in the morning while I was still in bed, and so I put a load into the dryer and switched it on. The dryer rumbled comfortably for the 45 or 50 minutes or so that it takes to do a load. During this time I had the TV on and was listening to it in the background while attending to social media. Then I took off the first load and put it in the laundry basket. I put on the second load - the shirts - and sat back again with the TV on above the tumble of the dryer. Room room room room room room room room went the dryer.

I tottered around the apartment until it was time to go to lunch and off I went to the noodle shop down the street which - I discovered today - is operated by a Korean who lived in Japan. His front-of-shop staff - the girls - are Japanese and the cooking staff at the back - the boys - are Korean. He talks to them in their own languages. He likes me because I always buy a beer at his shop on weekends to go with my gyouza and ramen.

After eating I came back and went back to bed to read some of my book. But it was boring and I got up and ironed the shirts, then went out to watch TV and drink some wine. I started to feel human again. The strange feeling I get when I am alone in the apartment - when I feel as though my head is located about a mile above my body - disappeared. I started to feel normal again. Not normal like I do when I am doing the laundry, but normal for when there is no laundry to do. Tomorrow at lunchtime I pick up G from the airport as she is coming down again for mum's funeral, which is on Monday. I'll have to find a tie to wear.

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